Workplace Jiujitsu #3: Make Yourself Easy To Help

I Didn’t Know How to Ask for Help, So I Almost Failed

In college, I nearly failed Thermodynamics 1. Not because I didn’t try. It was because I didn’t know how to ask for help.

I didn’t know how to read the textbook. I didn’t know what questions to ask. I didn’t know that my confusion wasn’t unique.

So I isolated.

It was winter. I wasn’t sleeping much. I wasn’t talking much. I barely passed. Scraped a C. And I adopted some learned helplessness.

The Hidden Cost of Struggling Quietly

Most people don’t fail because they’re incapable. They fail because they haven’t learned how to get the right kind of help.

You’re told to “ask questions,” but never how to make them sharper.

You’re told “help is available,” but not how to make it easy to give.

You’re told “don’t be afraid to speak up,” but not how to recognize what's worth saying.

So you hesitate. You disappear. You normalize the stuckness. Until it becomes identity.

Same Professor. Same Subject. Different Outcome.

I took Thermo 2 with the same professor. But this time, he taught from Intro to Thermal Physics. Concepts came from the ground up. The textbook made sense.

And for the first time with Thermo class, I didn’t just show up. I engaged.

• I let myself be seen as confused.
• I asked smaller questions. I revised my assumptions.
• I put pride down so understanding could grow.

That shift, more than the content, changed everything.

Help Isn’t Magic. It's A Request.

People aren’t mind readers. If they don’t know where you’re stuck, they can’t pull you forward.

Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign you’re still trying. Still aiming. Still open.

And clarity is what draws the right people to you.

If you’re stuck, don’t just work harder.

Make yourself easier to help.

Have you ever had a moment where asking the right question opened everything up?