Minor Movements - 4

"This is how I did it, Anton. I never saved anything for the swim back."

It's been eight months. Eight months since January. Eight months since you set the intention. Last year, you gained 50 pounds. It wasn't on purpose. You're not to blame. But the food saved you.

You've had depression for a while, but the fog is starting to fade. Pound by pound you're able to laugh more and more again. It's been over 13 years. You used to be handsome. You used to be able to look at yourself in the mirror. You used to have hair.

Now you're making progress. They say it's a weight loss journey. You thought it was going to be like every other January filled with broken promises. Last year was rough. The goal was to find a job and move out of your mom's house. It's hard enough being cheated on by your high school sweetheart. Add to that the sting when you lie to yourself and don't follow through.

She was a good girl. You still think about her every once in a while. She used to believe in you. You saw that slowly go away and then all at once. Maybe the problems started when you couldn't get out of bed on the weekends. Maybe it was before then. Anyway, she found someone else. But now you found the iron temple.

At the gym, no one really looks at you. You stick to the machines, serve your 30 minutes, and are on your way. The gym takes the suicidal edge off the end of the day. Before, you would just come back to your studio apartment and lay in bed.

Today was a lot of fun. You got to stock tuna cans on the shelves. You found the job through your mom. She knows a guy that knows a guy that got you the interview. It's been good for you. You were jobless for two years.

The good thing is that you have your mom. You have the gym. You are still here.